Do's and Don'ts of Interior Designing your House

One fine day, my husband and I, two busy souls, dedicated to our respective careers, decided that its better to pay EMIs than it is to pay rent. Sounds wise, right? So we went and we bought a house, took a loan and got down to business. We decided to go with a leading interior designer in Bangalore. That's when all the hell broke lose!

I realized that Interiors is a time consuming, painful and mind numbing exercise and I, being a newbie in the city and this department, didn't have much help. Like all those folks who have moved into a new city and are setting up their fast paced lives, I too relied on Google for most of the help, but alas, in an industry as unorganized as Interiors with so many moving parts and people and an unlimited number of stakeholders who are need to coordinate to complete your work, I was in for a roller coaster ride.

Thus I decided to write this post as a set of tips which will come in handy for anyone in this phase of setting up a house and doing the interiors- the products available, what to choose, how to choose, what to be careful of and most importantly all those pits that one needs to avoid in order to remain peaceful!


1. Attention to Detail!:
I cannot emphasize enough how necessary it is to be detail oriented especially when it comes to the minutest details. Because believe me, once your project is ready, you would be so exhausted that you wouldn't want to move a thing for years to come. From the kind of materials used, to the per square feet area rate, you should keep a tab on everything. A few numbers here or there, and your budget is in for a toss. Also, whenever you select any materials for your furniture, wardrobes or kitchen, make sure you take a photograph and diligently maintain a notes diary to enter all the colors and codes. Believe me, however much the Interior Designer be fancy, they have several projects at hand, and you are not their special child. They will lose these details and you will have to do things all over again, return items you never ordered and unnecessarily cause delay to your timelines.

2. Oh My Dear Kitchen!:
The most difficult of them all! The kitchen is the trickiest interior component by far in the entire setting up of the house. With several designs and materials to choose from, and budgets from 3 lacs to 40 lacs, it is no child's play. Finally, after a really bad experience, I have come up with a list of be careful notes:

a. There are many materials that can be used in the kitchen namely- Laminate (normal and glossy), Membrane, Acrylic, Spanish and Glass. While all are custom and factory made (except laminate), Spanish and Glass are only 'Shutters'. That means that you will end up spending a bomb (like we did) to get a fancy kitchen, but only your kitchen cabinet doors will be of that material. The rest of the sides will be Laminate (the cheapest kind of material available!). So, going by my experience, I would not suggest anyone to go with these if you hope that by spending extra, the kitchen will look Italian, the truth of the matter is these shutters are good, but definitely not worth the money and effort!

b. The kitchen fittings are another mind boggling component that will suck your mind and energy. From tandom drawers, to cutlery organizers, to bottle pullouts, to spice cabinets, tall units and carousels- it is  like a trade fair by itself. I had decided to keep things simple since just a fancy carousel and tall unit would be an added expenditure of Rs. 1Lac. So I kept some tandom boxes, and some plain shelves along with the usual cutlery and bottle pull outs. However, again in hindsight, I feel that a drawer based kitchen, even if its more of plain tandom boxes makes more functional sense than having plain shelves since its easier to access your utensils and cutlery in drawers rather than in shelves.

c. The other important component which you would probably not ever think about, but is quite critical is the Granite, Marble, Korean Stone or Engineered Quartz shelf. Granite, is the cheapest and the sturdiest of all. But Quartz, though considerably more expensive, can provide a very neat and fancy look. So depending on your use and taste, you should ideally choose between a Granite (if rough use, habit of putting hot utensils on the shelf etc.) or Quartz (you are super careful and organized). However, one thing you must bear in mind is that more often than not, these stones would need to be cut and installed according to your kitchen measurements and make sure that they don't put a break in the granite/any other stone in middle of the shelf. The breaks between stones should come only in the corners and not in middle as it can ruin the whole look and feel.

3. Don't let your house turn into a carpentry workshop
The biggest mistake of them all! When I had signed the agreement with our Interior Designer, we were promised that all products would be factory made and would just be come and installed as is. There will be minimum footprint in the house, so that there is minimal damage and everything will be customized and factory fitted. Alas, we were in for a really rude shock.

Everything from cutting  of the ply, to the fevicol sticking of the laminates on to those plywood, to hammering the nails on to the wardrobes to fix them on the wall. Every single damn thing took place in our house and ruined our plans completely. The project got delayed by more than a month from the promised date, and however much we protested, this is how things proceeded. We were told that since walls is houses are not completely straight (and its true since builders these days don't putty the walls well), factory made fittings will lead to gaps. Believe me, its better to live with those tiny gaps which can be filled and puttied than let your life go upside down and turn your house into a warehouse before you even move in. Never never ever let your the things get built in your house. Its not cheaper and its definitely not worth all the pain! The only silver lining- I get to stay in literally a hand made house!

4. Never Believe your Interior Designer/Fabricator' s Timelines
One lesson learnt the very very hard way. Never trust them. I don't mean to say that they are cheats or bad people, no didn't have a bad experience at that level, but its just an unsaid rule of the game that projects will only be completed at least 30 days after the promised date. Everyone I have spoken to who has gone through this ordeal tells me their projects never finished on time. So whatever you are planning, shifting wise or career wise, shift your plans by at least 30 days.

5. Don't Give In
Everyone is allowed to make mistakes except you. So be sure, that you do not give your sign in on anything which you are not happy with since there is always a way out. If you are not happy, do not accept. Many a times, I would go in a self doubting mode, thinking maybe only I see a problem when there is none. No, believe in yourself, and don't compromise with anything. This is your house, your money and your time, and you are probably doing it only once. So if you don't like something, don't be afraid to say it. There will always be a solution. Don't feel pressurized by suggestions of workarounds or what people have to say, do what you think is the Best Solution.

There are hundreds of other things as well that can go wrong, but if you keep the above checklist in mind, you would be able to prevent most of the errors. And hopefully, live happily every after!

Voces Innocentes

Sometimes a movie can be a life changing experience, it can jolt you out of your very existence and question the world you live in. It is not often that you come across cinema that transcends all barriers, national, linguistic, social, cultural and connects right to your heart. You don't need a language to understand it, you just need a heart.

Voces Innocentes (Innocent Voices) is a movie based in El Salvador during the 1980s amidst the Civil War between the US army and the FMNL( Farabundo Martí National Liberation Front) and depicts the atrocities of war on innocent El Salvadorians. The story is narrated through the eyes of an 11-year-old boy Chava who lives with his family; a mother, and two siblings in a village in El Salvador that is caught between the guerrilla war between the two fronts. His father has abandoned the family and left for a safe life in USA, and the 11-year-old innocently assumes the responsibility of the 'Man of the House'.

At 11, when a typical boy should be in school enjoying his classes, playing with friends and be safe from atrocities like war, Chava is growing up in a war stricken El Salvador. Yet that does not seem to affect his playful spirit and his zeal to live. Once, when his mother is away for work, the village is caught between firing between US troops and guerillas irrespective of the innocent villagers. He gets his siblings together, gets under the bed, and rolls over the mattress along the wall to save his brother and sister. The mom comes back horrified, yet glad to see her kids alive. After a visit to her mother, she decides to give up her job and work from home. Chava finds an odd job as a bus conductor after school that fetches him a few bucks to support his family.

His uncle who had been missing for a couple of years returns, and lifts the hope for the family. He is a guerilla and speaks to Chava about the war and asks him to join their front once he turns 12. He gives Chava, a much cherished gift, a radio that gives information on the guerilla war, but is banned and thus he needs to hide from the US troops.

The story takes a turn when US troops come to their school, and take away 10 terrified school boys between the age of 12-13 years to train them and make them join the army. Chava is miserable for his friend who has been taken away but is even more terrified at the prospect of turning 12 and meeting the same fate. Like a child he forgets about it for a little while, develops a crush on Christina Maria, his teacher's daughter. As much he likes going to school and being with her, situation turns from bad to worse. There is a crossfire at the school between the guerillas and the army and the school is shut down. The priest of the Church who is with the guerillas is beaten up for letting them take shelter in the Church. Next day when the villagers come to pray at the Church, they find it closed, the priest gives an emotional speech saying its not just the prayers that will help anymore.

Back in the village, with no school, and life in uncertainty, Chava is informed by his uncle's friend about the upcoming army recruitment taking boys of all ages. He quickly with the help of his friends writes the note on a piece of paper and slides under every door. The little boys climb the roofs of their houses, distraught, quiet and scared. The US troops return after finding no boys but discover that their plan had been leaked. A few days later they come again, take away little boys, but Chava escapes. That night he decides to join the guerillas just like his uncle and fight against this war because as his grandmother once tells him in the movie, 'It will get worse before it gets better.'

He leaves with 2 of his friends and finds his way to the guerilla camp, however their movement is intersected by the US troops and they fire at the camp and kidnap him and his friends. Meanwhile, an exodus begins from his village to a safer area and his mother, siblings and grandmother find him missing. They nevertheless collect their belongings and set out on their journey. Midway, his mother, runs back to search for him. Chava, on the other hand is being taken to a 'death camp' where guerilla and their supporters have been killed and hung by the troops. The US soldiers shoot his two friends one by one, and just as they are about to pull the trigger on him, the guerillas start firing from the jungle. He gets an opportunity and considers killing a US troop from the rifle a dead guerilla troop but even though he feels the rage, anger and revenge, he cannot fire. He escapes and runs back to his house finding it burnt but is reunited with his mother.

The story is moving, and you see the eyes of the world through a 11 year old child. There are several instances where you don't want to believe that these things can happen to little children, to innocent people, to harmless citizens, but they do. It is the story of undying human spirit and the death of childhood. It makes you question American imperialism, rampant destruction of human life and the urge to live till people accept war as normal business and go about living their normal lives. Where life hangs delicately and you don't know if you will survive the day when you wake up. As the powerful background score of a song banned in the film:


Children the same color of my country's earth
With their same scars
Millions of worms
And because of that
How sad it is, the way the children live
In houses made of cardboard

How sad does the rain sound
On the roofs made of cardboard
How far away, does hope pass by
In the houses made of cardboard

Caterpillar: Japanese Movie

I am infuriated. I am disgusted. I can't sleep.

Caterpillar (Kyatapira) is a Japanese movie released in 2010 against the growing Fascism in Japan. It starts with the Sino-Japanese 1945 war scenes. A few soldiers are running after Chinese girls in a village that has been set on fire and finally get hold of them, torture them and rape them ruthlessly as they try to defend, scream and cringe. You see the satisfaction on Kurokawa, the soldier's face, as if he has had his revenge.

The next scene transports you to a house in a small village in Japan, where a family is kneeling down and horrifically looking at the return of their son, a 'war hero', Kurokawa. The soldiers who have come to drop him at this house say that he miraculously survived the war even though he has lost his limbs. Once they leave, you see the family reacting, not knowing whether to be rejoice the return of their kin or be miserable at the pound of flesh lying in front of them who can neither talk nor hear.

The wife, Shigeko breaks down, in grief, and in rage and refuses to accept him as her husband, but the whole village asks her to take care of her great husband, who has done his country proud, who is a role model for many, and is truly a 'War God'.

She finally comes to terms, obediently fulfills her duties, by cleaning him and feeding him. Even though her husband is incapacitated, he still has his insatiable sex drive and repeatedly signals her to take off her clothes and satisfy him. He does not show any remorse at his demands and expects her to give into his demands as her duty.

The character of Shigeko portrays so much strength and perseverance that you begin to wonder how can she be so patient. The film takes you back to the times before Kurokawa left for the war, when he repeatedly used to rape Shigeko and call her an 'infertile bitch' who could not give him a son. How is she able to take care of a man, her husband who used to treat her like filth and in some ways still does, by expecting her to look after him and fulfill all him whims and fancies at every beck and call. The movie shows the indomitable spirit of a woman, and the courage and patience she demonstrates towards her husband. A woman may be physically weaker but she is several times superior to the man when it comes to courage.

The movie has some very graphic scenes, where she cleans her husband's ass every day. Once she is so disgusted by the act, that she starts singing patriotic songs to pep herself up and justify her duty. The patriotic songs that she sings form the background score of the movie and in difficult times, she repeatedly sings them to motivate her.

Much to Kurokawa's repulsion, she takes him out on a cart, dressed in a uniform and his medals, for villagers to see and appreciate. In a way, it seems she is looking for praise and appreciation for herself too as the selfless wife of the War God who made his country proud. Kurokawa, however, seems to hate the pity on the faces of the villagers, and refuses to go out the next time.

Even though he has lost his limbs and been reduced to an animal, who just eats, sleeps and craves for sex, he still has his masculine pride intact. He wants to eat all the food, leaving none for Shigeko, spits on her face when she refuses to have sex and shows no signs of remorse till Shigeko strikes back. She slaps him, curses him, screams and reminds him of all the painful times he has given her. She forces herself on him chiding him and asking him, 'Who is barren now?'

Her grief reminds Kurokawa of that fateful night when he raped the innocent girl and killed her. He remembers her screams, the look in her eyes, and the pain he gave her and consequently the fire that cost him his arms and legs. He breaks out in a fit, full of remorse, and out of control, he wriggles across the floor, tries to break his head against the wall screaming in agony. Shigeko at this point, laughs and cries at his remorse, singing, 'Rumble, Tumble like a Caterpillar.'

The movie ends with the scenes of Hiroshima and Nagasaki war in 1945 when the monarch gives in to the USA and the war ends. Several Japanese soldiers who fought for their country are hanged to death as war criminals.

Caterpillar is simple, beautiful and hard-hitting. It subtly shows how fascism and war are glorified to justify the heinous crimes committed against mankind, destroying not just human lives but killing the human spirit. The film repeatedly makes you ponder how a soldier fighting in the name of his country yet raping and ruthlessly beating Chinese victims, even his wife can be portrayed as a War God. How can people bow in front of him, worship him and sing in his praise? The setting of this film might be Japanese, but the same story repeats itself everywhere. Be it war against the Naxals in India, the army in Kashmir, USA soldiers in Afghanistan or El Salvador, they are all war heros who have ruthlessly set people's homes on fire, raped women and robbed innocent children of their livelihood. Yet, we worship them as martyrs, as heroes and as Gods.

Memories in March

I had not heard of this movie before coming across it on Youtube possibly because I am not a big movie buff and partly because I don't remember it being released in mainstream cinema. However, the National Award Winning Film 'Memories in March' directed by Sanjoy Nag is an absolute delight.

The film follows the story of a heart-broken mother (played by Deepti Naval) who goes to Kolkata to complete the last rites of her son, Siddharth who died in a car accident under the influence of alcohol. She is received at the airport by his friends from his office and taken to the crematorium. She has many questions, disbelief and grief but she copes up with all this with extraordinary courage and grace. Thus starts her journey into the world of her son, a world that is full of dark secrets and revelations that she had never imagined existed. In the background, you sometimes hear her son's narration of the emails he shared with her and her own quest to find out the truth and come to terms with it.

The creative director, Arnab (played by Rituparno Ghosh)of her son's office and Shahana Choudhary (played by Raima Sen), the art director both play a very important role in the film as Siddharth' friends and colleagues and help Arti (Deepti Naval) discover her son all over again after his death.

Arti enters her son's house for the first time after his death to collect his closest belongings and take them with her to Delhi as his last memories. She is assisted in this by Shahana who patiently helps her arrange for the search, guides her around the house and gets food packed for her. Arnab too takes care of Arti by making sure that there is a driver at her disposal whenever she needs to travel. The twist arrives when Arti decides to visit the office to complete some formalities and expresses her wish to take back her son's belongings from his desk which includes a picture of herself. This simple request is met with discomfort and hesitation by Arnab, and she loses her temper. That is when the revelation is first dawned upon her by Shahana. Her son was gay and was in a homosexual relationship with Arnab.

The world that she had built around her son, her thoughts about him come crashing down and she refuses to come to terms with it. But unlike most Bollywood masala films, this topic is dealt with utmost grace and respect in this film without a hint of melodrama. She does accuse Arnab of 'seducing' her son and gets into an altercation with him only to later read a text in Siddharth's phone that he had drafted weeks ago on his phone but never gathered the courage to send it to his mother. The film follows Arti's acceptance of Siddharth's preferences and her friendship with Arnab, the acceptance of an issue with much courage and understanding.

The film is not preachy and it does not humour homosexuality. It is one of those very subtle renditions of a topic many of us still refuse to come to terms with even in educated households. Legalisation of homosexuality in India is only a small step, the acceptance in our society is a much bigger challenge. The film beautifully captures this message without going over the top.

Deepti Naval is wonderful in her portrayal of a stoic mother from an educated background who manages to shatter her boundaries and look at her son's point of view rather than blatantly refuse it. Rituparno Ghosh is convincing as ever in his portrayal of Arnab da, a character who wishes to be set free and hates the world to be caged. Raima Sen too, has done an amazing job in her portrayal of Shahana, who was once madly in love with Siddharth before she realised he was gay.

Its one of the best movies I have seen in the last couple of years and it has restored my belief that Indian cinema has a future and that we too can make films with popular appeal which are full of substance. That is how one good movie can overshadow the thousands of nonsensical films that are fed to the unassuming public each week. I don't understand whether its the public whose tastes are not yet mature enough to see this kind of cinema or is it the filmakers who are just worried about their boxoffice collections.

In any case, I don't think anyone should miss out this movie. And you can watch it in 1 hour 38 minutes on Youtube in your home. Please do.

The Last Lecture

Its been a year since I signed up for this blog but my first post comes only today. I created this blog to be able to share my opinions about the books I have read that have touched my life and given me a new perspective, sometimes just something to ponder about, and sometimes to disagree, discuss and debate.

I read this particular book 'The Last Lecture' by Randy Pausch under extraordinary circumstances. A few days back, early in the morning, before leaving for work, I got the news of the demise of my beloved grandmother and was utterly shattered. I rushed to the airport to take a flight back to Delhi to be with my family and while at the airport, I bought this book to keep me occupied for the next two hours and to ease the stress that i was under. Turns out, that I unknowingly made a very good decision.

I had heard about this book from a couple of friends and knew that it is about a Professor who is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has only a couple of months to live. He decides to give the last lecture to his students, a medium that he undertakes to acknowledge the wisdom he has accomplished over the years and to say a final goodbye. As it turns out, The Last Lecture is not about virtual reality, a subject he has taught through the years, but on his life and how he achieved his dreams.

Very few people in this world can face death with courage and accept the fate that lies ahead. The grief of not being able to be with your family and cherish moments that everyone plans for in life, can totally devastate an individual. There are two ways to respond to this scenario; one is to resign to your fate and feel sorry for yourself and for your loved ones, the second is to pick up the pieces, be there for your family in the time that is left, plan for them and make sure that they can live comfortably without you in years to come. Randy chose the second way and showed extraordinary courage and determination to make things better for his family.

At the time of his diagnosis, Randy was 40 years old and with three small kids aged sons Dylan and Logan aged 5, 3 and daughter Chloe aged 18 months. When he and his wife realized that he is suffering from terminal cancer and has a couple of months to live, they decided to visit a family psychiatrist to counsel them through these tough times. Randy was heart-broken that he would not be there for his kids through their growing years, there was so much that he had planned to teach them. He decided that he would record his life's learning through 'the last lecture' that he delivers at Carnegie Melon University where he was a Professor.

The book follows the story of his childhood through the years till he completed his Phd. He describes each of the important learning of his life that he gained over the years with the help of his family and on the strength of his determination. In a very light and humorous manner he describes how he was awed when he first visited Disneyland with his family, mother, father and elder sister. He was so impressed with the magnificence of the place that he decided to become a 'Disney Imagineer' so that one day he could be one of the engineers behind the rides at the park. Since then, each step that he took, he had this goal in his subconscious. And one day, he actually got an offer to go to Disneyland on a sabbatical and make his dream come true where he pioneered the non-profit Alice Project. Similarly, while growing up, the World Encyclopedias had been a constant source of information for him and he had always wondered if he could be someone who actually wrote an article for one of the edition. He was so dedicated in his work, that one day, he finally did get a call from their office to write an article on Virtual Reality, a subject that he had studied and mastered.

According to Randy, everyone has childhood dreams, but not everyone cares to fulfill them. He feels that it is important to listen to your heart and not lose focus of what you really want to do in life. If you want something passionately, there will be walls, brick-walls and people-walls, but one must figure out a way past that wall through sheer determination and hard work. Life is unpredictable, you can never say when it comes to an end. It is thus important to live each moment with full dedication and achieve what you desire, whether its a person you love, or its a dream that you want to fulfill.

In simple, humorous and a witty manner, Randy gives a message which often spiritual leaders fail to deliver. Follow your dreams and achieve what you want, do not wait for death to stare in your face and regret things that you could have done but couldn't. Life is short, make the most of it, you will never know when your world comes crashing down.